Viewing entries tagged with 'life'

Leave a room tidier

My friend Jeremy recently shared with me a tip he picked up from his Mum. Every time you exit a room of your house, do one small thing to make it tidier or more organised. Leave the room looking just that little bit nicer than when you walked in.

Genius. I’ve been trying it - and it works. Glass on the coffee table? Yup I’ll take that on my way through. Shoes on the floor? I’ll put those away on my way out the door. Letters on the bench? Opened, filed and rubbish put in the bin.

End result? Tidy house with less time spent tidying up.

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posted by Dylan on 24 May 2015, 9:18 pm in ,

Can you want what you already have?

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about an Oscar Wilde quote I stumbled upon. “In this world, there are only two tragedies. One is getting what one wants, and the other is not getting it.”

The uncomfortable tension of wanting something. The subsequent relief once we get it. It’s intoxicating.

Smart people tell us to be thankful and to appreciate what we have. That we can’t be happy for as long as we desire to be happier. Sounds good on a greeting card perhaps - but is this even possible?

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posted by Dylan on 27 October 2014, 11:03 pm in ,

The important of Anchors

Recently I finished It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini and was introduced to the concept of "Anchors" which I thought was pretty cool and worth sharing.

Ned's concept of an Anchor is something constant in your life that makes you happy. Really happy. Something you can retreat back into when life becomes difficult or overwhelming.

In the novel, the protagonist Craig (based closely on Ned's own life) is a teenager from Brooklyn New York who experiences depression. Often overwhelmed by the most routine daily tasks (eating, sleeping, attending school, socialising with friends) Craig discovers the simple act of drawing clears his mind, reduces his anxiety and keeps him anchored when the outside world feels hostile and out of control. 

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posted by Dylan on 22 April 2014, 6:55 pm in ,

Thoughts on Christmas

I had my haircut tonight, and it got me thinking about Christmas. It was 7pm at night. The salon was packed. They were serving wine. Everyone was happy. I was happy. Apparently they had appointments through until midnight. Fancy that, on your feet and cutting hair until the clock strikes 12.

Christmas is a funny time.

When we think about Christmas, situations like I described above aren't unusual. Everyone is busy. Everyone is making last-minute appointments. Everything is booked up, and everyone is squeezing as much as they can into the days and weeks leading up to the day itself.

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posted by Dylan on 20 December 2013, 12:21 am in

Choose yourself

For as long as I can remember I've put other people's needs ahead of my own. I don't say this to gain sympathy, and I'm not a martyr. I do it because it works for me. It makes me feel useful and valuable. Making other people happy, and meeting their needs, makes me happy.

Right? Well kind of.

I stumbled upon a book recently called Choose Yourself by James Altucher. It's available on Kindle or as a paperback. It's a business book, a #1 best seller on Amazon, and it's widely regarded by people I admire from afar as a book worth reading. I like it too. It acknowledges the world is changing, jobs are disappearing, industries are being disrupted  and traditional educations are becoming less and less relevant in the new economy that's rising from the ashes. And it teaches you how to use that to your advantage. It teaches you that the world is hyper-competitive and you can't just tick a bunch of boxes and expect to land the perfect job and keep it forever. You need to put your hand up, create your own luck, and choose yourself. Constantly. If you're just starting a career, or you feel you're in a rut, I strongly encourage you to read this book.

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posted by Dylan on 21 October 2013, 9:49 pm in

On polyamorous marriage

The shrinking minority still opposed to Marriage Equality often use polyamorous relationships as a weapon against supporting same-sex marriage. You know the argument, the "slippery slope" that will eventually see the state acknowledging relationships between more than two people.

Terrifying stuff, apparently.

Before I dive into why this concept should in fact terrify no body at all, it's important for clarity that I restate my previously outlined position on marriage equality in relation to same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is something I fully support on the basis of fairness, equality, and most importantly the positive message it sends to young gay people.

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posted by Dylan on 25 March 2013, 8:05 pm in ,

More than "just friends"

I've always valued friendship. Growing up, I've crossed paths with some amazing people, and having chosen to live most of my adult life as a single person, I have wherever possible, made friendship a priority in my life.

As I grow older, I'm becoming more aware of how significant these friendships have become. How they form the foundation of my life. How much happiness they bring me. How they've shaped me into the person I am today, and how they will mould me into the person I become tomorrow.

It's sad to me that, in the eyes of many, friendships are considered a second-tier relationship. Less than family. Less than a marriage. Less than a monogamous sexual relationship. It's totally wrong. If a person is valuable to you, integral to your happiness, is good for you and brings you joy, it should make no difference to anybody whether you share blood, a bed, or a marriage certificate.

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posted by Dylan on 20 January 2013, 10:26 pm in ,

Letting go and making room

I love my 1987 E30 BMW. It's one of my favourite "things". I bought it with no intention of selling it. Ever. I've spent thousands maintaining it. Hours days cleaning it. It brings me so much happiness. But it's up for sale.

Why?

Because I want this year to be different from last year. I don't want the same routines and the same experiences. I want new adventures and new things to love. Sometimes you need to get rid of the old, to make way for the new.

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posted by Dylan on 8 January 2013, 10:04 pm in

Remembering my Grandma

I was never particularly close to my grandmother. As a kid, she always lived so far away, and when she finally moved up to Auckland, I never made time to spend time with her, just the two of us.

When she had a heart attack some eight weeks ago, all that changed. My parents were overseas, deep in South America. My sister, and all other immediate family, were living in Australia. It left just me.

I visited Grandma every day in hospital. I discovered a woman I'd never met before. She was strong, brave, unafraid, and totally unwilling to make a fuss. Turns out, I had so much to learn from her.

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posted by Dylan on 4 December 2012, 10:45 pm in

On marriage equality

The message we send to young gay New Zealanders, plus their friends and family, needs to be front and centre of the imminent debate for marriage equality.

Anxiety, fear, embarrassment, shame, guilt, rejection, pain and suffering are familiar emotions for the vast majority of young gay men and women growing up in New Zealand. The selfish, ignorant beliefs of a shrinking minority are robbing our young people, who have their whole lives ahead of them, from the love and acceptance most New Zealanders take for granted.

When following the debate, forget about the act of getting married. Forget about men and women walking down the aisle. Forget about the preservation of an institution. Forget about whether the fundamental legal rights are already taken care of by civil unions. Focus instead on the underlying message we'll send to young people if we continue to treat same-sex attraction as a lesser form of love, different and separate from the love enjoyed by the balance of society. Look around you and you'll see that our current beliefs are causing unhappiness for many, and in extreme cases they're costing lives.

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posted by Dylan on 29 July 2012, 12:22 pm in ,

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